Wow! Somehow month one of our fast is over, and we are halfway into month two: clothing.
Fasting food was HARD! I gave up my beloved coffee in exchange for chicken, eggs, avocado, sweet potato, spinach, whole wheat bread, and apples. It got old quick! I literally felt like we were eating the same exact thing every single day…oh wait, we were!
Incredibly enough, in spite of my selfish bratty self, God moved so tremendously in my heart! Giving up something that I felt defined my very existence, (read: giving up my addiction and idolization of coffee), exposed so many flaws in my heart and in my relationship with my Daddy in heaven. How many times did I sniff a bag of coffee in the grocery store, or go to the bakery to just stare at the chocolate cake…not to mention all the flavors I was longing for in my plain unseasoned chicken breast! My heart was longing for sweets, and instead I’d have to eat an apple. Which by the way was my solution to everything…praise God for apples!
Already scheming on day three about all the things I plan to indulge in after the fast…I love my support system, my crazy awesome bestie who committed to doing this thing with me!
Knee deep into just over a week of fasting coffee…I can’t be held responsible for my actions…I cheated…I know, shame on me! I splurged on a Watermelon Feta Salad from Panera and a sweet tea! (Seed planted from earlier text from said bestie…thanks Melissa). We had gone for Addie’s follow-up appointment post surgery and her request was
Panera…it was too much temptation, so I caved. My very beautiful, very smart 6 year old’s response was priceless, and totally led by Holy Spirit.
“Isn’t breaking your fast like a sin?”
Why yes tiny human it is, Momma needs to repent!
By the end of our three weeks something had happened in my heart. Something had shifted. My priorities were misplaced, my security and comfort were put in temporary things. Those things had been taken away and exposed a weakness. At first I wollowed in my lack of options, and especially in my lack of caffeination. I complained, suffered, chose to have a bad attitude and blamed it on my caffeine deficiency.
The last day left time for reflection. An attitude in my heart had change and really without me realizing it. After two weeks, I had come off the sugar/caffeine withdrawal headaches, was able to wake-up without coffee, and plan nutrient dense meals for my family and for me! I had been eating significantly healthier than I think I may have in my whole life!
When I’d feel that hunger or temptation I’d pray (thanks to my husbands advice and encouragement). Moments where I probably wouldn’t have reached out to God usually. He began to speak to me in a still quiet voice from within, through thoughts. When I’d feel so ungrateful for my unseasoned chicken breast/sweet potato/spinach dinner, He’d remind me of the thousands of children who would die each day because of hunger, the people within my own community that were starving. He revealed my dependency on coffee and how I treasured the help from my cup more than I treasured the help from the Maker of the Universe.
Taking time away from things gives you perspective, and for us it was needed! It was hard…moments of despair, moments of failures, especially when your 6 year old points out those failures. But there were moments of success, like driving past my coffee shop 209 times and never pulling in! Or those moments where I felt God’s gentle hand molding, shaping, and changing me! I’m so incredibly thankful for what God did in this first month of fasting! And so excited to continue this journey, anxious for more of Him, more growth, and more change; choosing less, and creating a simple life where we can pare down from busyness, and the excess to hear from God, to be on mission with Him. Bringing freedom to the captive, bringing healing to the broken, and restoring all things for His glory.
Thank you to everyone who has joined us in the fast! It is such an honor and a privilege to serve Christ with you! Thank you for all who have prayed, it’s truly making a difference! Thank you to everyone who has chosen to sew into God’s Kingdom here on Earth through us! We appreciate you all, so deeply! It’s a scary thing, trusting God fully, stepping into the unknown in faith, and we know He alone is sufficient, but we are so grateful for those He has given us to walk alongside, to raise up our arms when we are tired, to help carry our load, and to send us where God’s call leads. Thank you!